Theme Fridays: independence

WRITERS’ CORNER

  

THEME FRIDAYS

 

Welcome to week two of our Writers’ Corner.  It was my turn to pick the theme this week but as i was scheduling my initial post, i realized that it was the Fourth of July.  We all agreed that in this circumstance, independence as a theme would work better.  i just hope that before you go out to the barbecue, watch fireworks light up the night, you get a chance to check out Annie’s independence celebration. And be sure to visit Jess’ page for her declaration of independence.

Independence is an idea that ties into so many aspects of our lives- from the first time a baby scrambles down from your lap to the Fourth of July to striking out on your own for the first time- we all strive for…

independence

When I am Five I decide to run. Away; I grab Noni: a stuffed horse. I select a pair of clean underwear. My crayons and my Little Lulu coloring book and stuff it all into my pillowcase.

I take one last look at what was my room. Now I share it with a baby. A baby that cries.  A baby that broke some of my crayons and screams if I don’t give her Noni. One time she cries and I think she is thirsty. Where is Mama? I can’t reach the bottles and I hate the crying so I need to get a baby something to drink. I bring a baby my juice cup and pour apple juice in her wide-open mouth. A baby chokes. Here comes Mama.

“What did you do?”

I try to tell her a baby is thirsty. I ask, “Where were you, Mama? She was crying and crying.”

Mama picks up a baby and a baby stops crying. Then Mama looks at me with her mad face. I am bad. I already know it. Mama says, “You must never pour or put anything into her mouth. She will choke to death!”

Oh no! I think. I almost killed a baby! Then I can’t look at a baby without thinking it- I am really bad.

I can’t share this room with a baby. Also, I get into trouble for making too much noise and waking a baby up. I get angry because it is not Mama and Daddy and me anymore. When I work on my letter ‘M’ for school and try to show Daddy, he doesn’t look at me when he says, “Good work.” Instead, he is looking at a baby. I can’t do anything I want to do! Even before a baby showed up! I can’t play by the fence by the ravine. I have to go to bed at eight o’clock even if I’m not tired. I can’t pick out my own clothes. I can’t do anything!

So I am going to run away. I am going on an adventure like Mary Lennox. Then I won’t bother Mama, Daddy- and almost kill a baby- again.

In the kitchen, Mama feeds a baby. “What’ve you got there?” Mama asks me.

I look at the pillowcase I dragged in here and tell her, “I’m running away.”

Mama puts a spoon full of orange mush into a baby’s mouth. A baby lets it run all over her chin.  Then she chews on her fat fingers. Mama gets up and goes to the bread box and starts making peanut butter sandwiches. “Before you go,” Mama says, “I’ll make you some food to take. I’d hate for you to be hungry out there on your own.”

I think this is nice of Mama at first. She makes me two sandwiches. She puts them into a brown shopping bag. She puts in the jar of peanut butter, a butter knife too. This hurts my feelings then, because I’m not allowed to use knives but now it’s like she doesn’t care about me anymore. The jar and the knife mean that she thinks I’ll be gone for a long time. She puts in a banana and a juice.

Mama hands me the bag; walks me to the door. She stoops down and asks me if I really want to run away. I say yes.

“You really want to leave? You’re sure? Okay, baby-girl. I am going to miss you so much! My heart is broken. Daddy will miss you, too. Who will he play checkers with? The baby‘s too small. And you’re his favorite checker buddy. Oh he‘s going to be so sad he couldn‘t say goodbye to you. Maybe you should wait until he gets home from work.”

I know what Mama is doing and it won’t work, even if my chest feels heavy and my eyes get watery. “No, I’m going now. Just tell Daddy that I love him.”

“What about the baby? She will have a hard time without her big sister around to be her friend and teach her how to be a big girl.”

I really do that? I think. But I leave anyway, after Mama gives me a kiss and squishes me with a hug. I walk away slow. And I don’t know where to go to. There’s no locked garden filled with magic around here. Only streets with a lot of parked cars and yards with barking dogs. I look left, then right, then left and cross the street. I am sad because I left my family, the television, my other toys, my bed, my swing. I sit on the curb and try to think where I can go but there is only one place.

The sun melts into the mountains. The sky changes from blue to pink to purple. I watch Daddy park the car in the driveway. I already ate my sandwiches and banana. I already drank my juice. I am hungry and tired.

I look both ways again and cross back home.

(copyright 2008 )  c A Hughes
06.30.08